Fowl Friends and Fowl Adventures
by DarkEyedPirateGirl
Summary: Yay! More adventures for Artemis and friends! We finally get to meet some of Butlers "acquaintances". I know the title and summary suck but its all i could think of. Just read the story.
1. Kai Ch1

**Hey ya'll I know that its been forever since I updated but ive had writers block plus ive been grounded for like the past week so a thousand pardons to my faithful readers who stuck by me no matter how much they wanted to yell at me through the screen. This is my new Artemis Fowl story I hope ya'll like it. I do not own Artemis Fowl only Kai and the plot. Please read and review.**

_**Butler Pov**_

"Butler."

Butler heard Artemis call him over the house intercom and rushed from his place in the meditation chambers to where his young charge was.

"What is it Artemis?" Butler asked calmly as he walked into the study. Artemis held out a slip of paper to him. "it appears that we have been invited to attend a social gathering."

Butler smirked to himself at the boy's overly formal speech as he read the card.

_Alexei Bromahov is honored to request Master Artemis Fowl the Second to a banquet at The Riviera in Venice, Italy on Saturday November 12 at precisely 8 o'clock._

_The event is black tie and all patrons must have an escort including any security you may bring._

_Your presence is much looked forward to._

Butler stared.

"Well."

"Yes," said Artemis, looking slightly worried, "it seems that in order to get into what will surely be the banquet of the year we will each need a date."

"Why don't you call Minerva?" Butler smirked, "I'm sure she'd be thrilled to go with you."

Artemis's brow cleared.

"A fine idea, old friend, and who shall you bring? Juliet?" It was now Artemis's turn to smirk.

Butler looked thoughtful for a moment before he had an idea.

"Yes," he said, "I do believe there is someone."

He walked off, already pulling out his cell phone to call the only person he would ever trust with something like this. He dialed in the number and listened to Tik Tok by Keisha play as he waited for her to pick up.

_Hai?_

"Hello Kai, it's Butler."

_Oh my god! Butler I haven't talked to you in like forever! How have you been? What's up???_

Butler chuckled lightly. Kai had always been rather excitable.

"I'm fine Kai, and you?"

_Oh I'm great! Just went on a shopping spree. I'm actually in Paris right now. I was planning on dropping by to visit you in a few days._

"That's wonderful, by the way I was hoping you'd be willing to do me a favor."

_Of course big guy! What is it?_

"Artemis and I have been invited to a banquet in Venice next week and we need escorts. I was hoping you would consent to be mine."

_Why Butler! You sly old dog of course! I would love to be your date to the banquet. I'll drop by the manor on Thursday is that okay?_

"That's perfect Kai, thank you so much for agreeing to accompany me."

She laughed, her laughter almost making the phone shake.

_Still the oh-so-formal-gentelman I see. Well, see you on Thursday then!_

_**Kai Pov**_

As she pressed the end button on her phone, Kai looked at her friend and personal clothes designer who was standing next to her.

"Come on Kenzie," Kai said, looking excited, "lets put those famous sewing fingers to the test and make me a dress that will be the envy of all who see it."

Already planning, MaKenzie said, "Alrighty then….. we'll need to visit the fabric store and the drugstore for material and bandages."

"Got it."

As the two women took off into the unsuspecting streets of Paris, the very air around them seemed to hum with excitement. Something big was going to happen. They just knew it.

**Alright so how do ya'll like my new story? It's my first Artemis Fowl fanfic and I love it! Please review because reviews means happy author. No reviews means depressed author and depressed authors very rarely update so press that pretty little green button over there and review! Ja!**

**Warrior Goddess of Flames**


	2. Kai Ch2

**Hey everyone thanks for stayin with me so far. By the way ive gotten a few reviews sayin that Butler shouldn't have a thing for Kai. I apologize for the mistake I did not mean for it to appear that way. Butler and Kai don't have a "thing" okay? Kai just likes to pretend flirt cuz they are such close friends. Kai is like his sister. Butler having a thing for Kai would be like him having a thing for Juliet, and me no likey incest. Just so you know. Once again I don't own Artemis Fowl that honor goes to Eoin Colfer. Please read and review.**

Minerva had been at Fowl Manor since yesterday and her and Artemis were having fun together.

Butler smirked as he fired his Sig Sauer into the dummy again in the basement gun range. They certainly were a well matched pair, he thought. Like most teenagers, they were having fun doing things they liked together. Unlike most teenagers instead of listening to music or playing video games, they were busy trying and mostly succeeding in unraveling the mysteries of the universe.

_BZZZZZST_

Butler put down his gun and pulled out his buzzing phone.

"Hello?"

_Hey Butler, its Kai._

"Obviously," Butler said, "is something wrong?"

_No, _Kai said, _nothing like that I just need you to do something for me._

"What?"

_I need you to open the outer gates at exactly 5pm today and keep them open for exactly five seconds, can you do that?_

"Do I want to know why?"

_It's nothing bad Mr. Paranoid, _Kai said in a joking voice,_ I just want to try something._

Butler sighed. This was probably another one of Kai's daredevil tricks that she did just to "see if she could".

"Fine," he said, "but if you don't make it in that time I'll close the gates and you will have to press the call button like a normal person.

Kai laughed. _Ha ha,_ she said, _you're hilarious. Just make sure it's open and don't close it too soon._

Sigh. "Fine." Butler said.

_Kay thanks bye! Click!_

Butler stared at his phone after Kai disconnected. _She's an odd one,_ he thought. He looked at the clock on his phone. _3:25_ blinked at him from the screen.

_Just two more hours._

He smiled to himself as he cocked his gun and aimed at the target. He couldn't wait to see how Kai's and Artemis's personalities reacted to each others. _Either way,_ he mused putting a round dead center in the target's bulls-eye,_ it should be interesting._

"Excuse me, Butler."

Butler let off one more round and then turned around to face Artemis and Minerva who were walking into the gun range quite close to one another. Butler smirked to himself at the site. Those two were getting so close lately that he wouldn't have been surprised if they had walked in to announce their engagement.

"Anything wrong Artemis?"

"No," said Minerva, "we were just wondering when your friend was going to get here so we could finally find out who she was."

"Yes," said Artemis, "you haven't told us much about her other than that she is an old friend."

"Since when have you been so curious about my acquaintances?"

"We were just wondering." Minerva giggled.

"She should be here around five, then you two can ask her all the questions you want. I'm sure she won't mind."

"Well that's nice." Minerva said turning around to look at Artemis.

"Yes," he said, "until then let us continue with our studies."

"What are you two doing up there?" Butler asked as the young geniuses turned to go back up the stairs.

"We are studying dark matter and the effects it has or may have on the space continuum."

_Sigh._ He would never get used to that.

"Very well Butler," Artemis and Minerva said together, making Minerva giggle. "Hmm," Artemis coughed, "Very well Butler, we eagerly await your acquaintance."

**Okay ya'll I hope you liked that chapter and that it cleared a few things up. Please review and tell me what you thought. Remember: reviews mean happy author and happy author means faster updates. Ja!**

**Warrior Goddess of Flames**


	3. Kai Ch3

**Yeah yeah I know it's been a while. I've had major writers block and plus never had time. I finally got time when I get sick and don't have anything else to do. Fun! I don't own Artemis Fowl obviously cuz if I did there would be more fluff between Arty and Minnie (chuckles evilly). Well I hope you like the new chapter. Please read and review!**

_**Butler Pov**_

_Beepbeepbeepbeep_

Butler looked up from his copy of _Guns and _Ammo and looked at the alarm he had set on his phone. _4:59 _blinked up at him. He sighed, lifting himself up from his chair and made his way over to the monitor. He watched the time on the computer and when it showed 5 o'clock he pressed the button that would open the outer gates. He mentally counted down the 5 seconds that he had promised Kai.

_5.....4....._

He saw something in the distance on the screen.

_3......2......_

On one he saw something zoom through the gates and onto the property.

Butler smiled and shook his head. He closed the gates and pressed the button for the house intercom, speaking into the mic.

"Artemis, Minerva, our guest has just arrived. Please come into the main hall to meet her."

Butler stood up and made his way down the stairs into the main hall himself, just entering when he heard the doorbell ring.

He walked over to the door and opened it to reveal a young woman standing next to black Harley, still wearing a matching helmet.

Kai walked into house just as Artemis and Minerva entered together.

"Welcome." Artemis said, "I assume you are the lady who will be accompanying Butler to the banquet?"

Kai removed her helmet and turned to Artemis. "I do believe I am. My name is Kai, I'm an old friend of Dom here," she said, punching me lightly in the arm, "and may I assume that you are the famous Artemis Fowl?"

Artemis smiled. "You may. Kai, you said?" he scrutinized Kais long blonde hair and features that certainly weren't Asian. "You don't look particularly Japanese."

She rolled her eyes. She probably got a lot of people saying that. "Just because my name's Kai doesn't mean I'm Japanese. After all, your name is Artemis and you don't look particularly Greek."

Butler smirked internally. He had known that this would probably happen.

Artemis looked a bit shocked but recovered quickly. "So," he said, "how is it that you and Butler know each other?"

Kai smiled, "Oh," she said, "we've gone on a few missions together, back in the old days, and of course when you're at boarding school and he gets bored."

"Oh," Artemis said, obviously surprised, "well it's a pleasure to meet you." Artemis extends his hand to shake Kais. Kai snorts and walks quickly over to Artemis and gathers him into a hug, making Minerva giggle. When she releases him the look on his face makes it impossible not to snicker.

Artemis collected himself, and clears his throat, his face slightly pink. "Hmm... so uh, what exactly do you do?"

"I would have thought that you would have figured that out by now," she said grinning, "I'm a mercenary."

"That's right Artemis," I said, "Kai's one of the best there is. She's also one of the best people in the world at hiding things, such as her weapons, on her person."

"Oh hush!" Kai said, her grin widening, "You're making me blush!"

"But I didn't feel any weapons when you hugged me?" Artemis said looking slightly confused.

"Like I said Artemis, she's one of the best."

"You want me to show you the weapons I have on my person right now?"

Artemis looked slightly startled. Minerva elbowed him in the side and giggled, "Oh go on then," she said, "show us!"

Kai laughed, "Very well then!" She turned towards me and said, "Can we go into the dining room or something so I can use the table? I don't like putting my equipment on the floor."

"Of course," I replied, "this way."

We walked into the dining room and she approached to large mahogany table.

"Prepare to be amazed children!"

We all watched as Kai removed her ring, opening it to reveal it was full of a fine white powder.

Artemis started to lean in for a closer look, but Kai stopped him. "I wouldn't get too close to that stuff if I were you," she said, closing the clasp on the ring and setting it on the table. "That's powdered black widow venom. There's more than enough in that ring to kill you, and I don't think Butler would be too happy with me if that happened."

Both Artemis and Minerva paled and unconsciously took a step closer to each other.

Kai then took of her choker necklace and held it up for us to see. "Garrot wire." She took out her earrings which appeared to be fangs. "Sharks teeth. Great Whites. These suckers will cut through just about anything." She then pointed to the stud on the tip of her ear. "Flash grenade." Kai then reached over her shoulder and down the back of her shirt and pulled out a curved short sword and set it on the table. She then reached around to her side, reaching through and almost invisible slit in her shirt and pulled out a short, modified shotgun.

Even I was surprised at this point. I had known that Kai was good, but I hadn't known that she kept _this_ many weapons on her person.

Kai plucked a shurikan from a holster at the small of her back, and then crossed her arms and took two knives from each hip and two pistols from either side of where the shurikan had been. She then reached up each sleeve, retrieving two more throwing knives. Next, she took a hunting knife from her right thigh, as well as two more throwing knives from farther down her leg, and a blade with a serrated edge from by her ankle. The whole time as she removed her weapons, placing them on the table for us to see. She reached into the inside of her pant leg and took out matching Japanese short swords. She then proceeded to take a Sig Saur, two 9mm pistols and a flare gun from the outside of her left leg, and a full length rifle with scope from the inside of her leg. She then reached into several pockets sewn into the inside of her shirt and pulled out several hand grenades.

She put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips, "I think that's about it.... No wait!" she reached under her shirt and took out her belly button ring. She held up the stud to show us. "The crystal is full of acid. This small amount can burn through just about anything. Except the reinforced container. And that's it."

Kai smiled smugly at the shocked faces that surrounded her.

**Okay that was kinda long but ive been waiting forever to write that scene (smiles proudly). I hope ya'll liked it! Make sure to remember to press that pretty little green button over there cuz reviews means happy author, and happy author means faster updates. Ja!**

**Warrior Goddess of Flames**


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